Getting the Words Right

I have to shake my head sometimes at the advertising done by some ghostwriters.  I recently stumbled upon the website of a pricey ghostwriter who will write your book for $65,000 to $75,000.  Okay, but she also says that she will write your "fictional novel" with professionalism.  Here's the rub: all novels are fiction.  Editors and agents usually don't take a second look at a query when an aspiring author pitches a "fictional novel."  Only someone totally unfamiliar with writing and publishing would pay such high prices to someone who doesn't know that "fictional novel" is a redundancy.  If a ghostwriter can't get the words right on his or her website, what's going to happen during the composition of a book.

And then there is the ghostwriting website I saw a few moments ago.  The ghostwriter said, "I'll write your novel, fiction or non-fiction, for $50,000."  First, non-fiction isn't hyphenated.  Second, and more importantly, a nonfiction book isn't a novel.  As mentioned above, a novel is a work of fiction.  I'm not going to pay someone $50,000 if he can't handle advertising copy and doesn't know the difference between fiction and nonfiction.

Both of the above ghostwriters omit hyphens dozens of times on their sites.  They talk about "full length books" and "book length manuscripts."  The words should be "full-length" and "book-length."

One ghostwriter wrote a sentence that read, "My vast writing experiences covers a wide range of topics, from travel to how-to."  The phrase "experiences covers" is a subject-verb agreement error worthy of a high school student."

The same ghostwriter says, "Always be careful when selecting a ghostwriter, if you choose the wrong one, you might regret the finished product."  "If you choose" begins a new sentence.  The ghostwriter has therefore produced another high school error: a comma splice.  Also, how does one "regret a product."  That's awkward phrasing.  One might regret "reading the finished product," but not the product itself.

And then there are the hundreds of ghostwriters who call themselves ghost writers.  "Ghostwriter" is one word, ladies and gentlemen.  "Ghost writer" as two words implies that the writer authors books on ghosts.

Always examine ghostwriting websites carefully, remembering that if you need or want a ghostwriter, you may not notice the kinds of errors I have listed above.  You need to get as much information as possible about the profession of ghostwriting and then do your due diligence for any ghostwriter you're considering.

It always pains me to say this, but online ghostwriting is, for the most part, a scam industry with unqualified people trying to get your money.  This is not to say that every ghostwriter has criminal intent, however.  Sad to say, some people don't know enough to know what they don't know.

~William Hammett

The Ghost of Richard Brautigan by William Hammett

I love the works of 1970s counterculture icon, port, and novelist, Richard Brautigan.  Brautigan (1935-1984) wrote short, quirky, surrealistic novels.  The best-known is his 1976 Trout Fishing in America.  Others include In Watermelon Sugar, A Confederate General from Big Sur, Sombrero Fallout, The Hawkline Monster, and So the Wind Won't Blow It All Away.

Over the years I've used many different prose styles and written in several genres.  I've always been partial to what literary agents call quirky fiction and really love the offbeat novels of Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, and yes, Richard Brautigan.  Several years ago I had a rather outrageous idea for a novel and decided to use Brautigan's short chapter format and incorporate Brautigan himself into the story.  Agents failed to sell it, but a small press eventually published an earlier, shorter version of the novel, called Salamander Illusions.  I'm happy that Word Wrangler Publishing has given the work a second chance under the new title of The Ghost of Richard Brautigan.

The ad blurb is as follows.

"Lamont Bistro, a writing teacher married to Bourbon Street exotic dancer Jaguar Montaigne, receives regular visits from the ghost of Richard Brautigan, novelist, poet, and counterculture icon of the 1970s.

In this short, quirky, fast-paced novel reminiscent of Brautigan's dark humor and satire, Brautigan challenges Bistro to write a novel about his sexy young wife, snake-handling evangelicals, a swamp monster, Babe Ruth, a gaudy theme park named Gatorworld, Mount Kilimanjaro, the Gulf War, a deity named Bob, and a planet diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

As Bistro writes, however, he wonders if he himself has become a character in a surrealistic novel by the late great Richard Brautigan."

The book is available through Amazon.  All books recently published will also be available through the Word Wrangler Publishing online store.  Click on the book cover in the right sidebar to be taken to the book at Amazon.

Thanks for stopping by!

~William Hammett